Orgasmic Meditation

Orgasmic Meditation (OM) is a practice where partners engage in a practiced series of consent, safety signals, and 15 minutes of manual genital stimulation. The only goal is to feel sensations. The partners are referred to as “stroker”, the person (any gender) providing the manual stimulation, and “strokee”, the woman receiving the stimulation. The practice begins by laying a series of blankets and pillows on the ground to the comfort of the couple. These are structured to support the strokee lying prone with the stroker sitting comfortably to her right side with their legs intertwined. The strokee removes her shoes and removes or lifts bottom clothing to be bare from the waist down. The stroker removes his or her shoes. Socks may be worn for comfort. The strokee places her feet together to let her knees fall apart, comfortably supported by pillows. The stroker is able to clearly see the strokee’s vulva and reach her vulva with both hands without physical strain.

Next, the stroker announces that he or she is about to rest their hands on the strokee’s thigh. The stroker then briefly describes the appearance of the woman’s vulva using value-neutral terms, such as its shape, color, or texture. The strokee acknowledges this observation, typically by responding “thank you”. Then, the stroker dons gloves of agreed material (e.g., nitrile) to provide a physical safety barrier, regardless of the status of the couple (e.g., romantic dating partners would still use gloves). The stroker applies lubrication to the left index finger and right thumb. At this point, the stroker announces that he or she is about to touch the strokee’s genitals. The stroker places the right thumb at the introitus, not inside the vagina, where it remains throughout the stimulation period. The purpose of this placement is to aid the stroker to feel contractions or other movement. The stroker places the left hand with the thumb holding back any clitoral hood and the left index finger stroking beside the clitoral shaft.

The stroker then strokes the upper left area of the strokee’s clitoris for 13 minutes. The speed, pressure and other characteristics of the strokes are adjusted throughout. The strokee may request adjustments at any time, which are always followed by the stroker, and are acknowledged by the stroker saying “thank you”. The stroker might offer adjustments prior to making them at any time, which the strokee may accept or decline. At 13 minutes, the stroker typically announces “two minutes” (here, timed and announced by computer). At the end of two more minutes, the stroker covers the vulva with both hands with gentle pressure, allowing the vulva to close. The stroker uses a clean washcloth to wipe up once over the vulva to remove any fluids. The strokee sits up. The stroker and strokee take turns describing a concrete, bodily sensation (e.g., temperature, vibration, location) that occurred during stroking. The gloves and washcloth are discarded.

Throughout this practice, safety and consent is maintained by a number of practices. The structured practice means initial consent is understood to apply to each step that follows, although this can be revoked by either partner whenever desired. Additional contact, such as hugging, are prohibited during OM. Strokees learn, and are encouraged, to provide verbal instructions to the stroker if they experience any discomfort or prefer a change. Further, communication is explicitly informational and never complimentary. Sexual expressions or requests are also not allowed. Vocalizations (e.g., moaning, panting, etc.) outside of direct verbal communication are supported and common during OM, but not required. Physical climax may happen, but is not a goal of the OM practice.